Married to Clark Griswold

Momma loves the beautiful lighted landscapes that abound during the Christmas season, however Momma's house does not meet that description.
Momma Explains: For every momma in the world there is a pappa and pappa has a serious obsession with lights. Momma loves theme scapes, that is you choose a color scheme then neatly and symmetrically decorate your property. Pappa has only one theme, to place as many lights as possible on any and all growing greens in our yard. Even dead bushes are illuminated. Color compliments matter not, it is quantity not quality. It is blazing beacons of misfit lighting arrangements that fill the neighbors with horror and awe. . The children of the neighborhood love the glittering candyland that is my front yard. Pappa has even encroached his lighting display to bushes that belong to the neighbors but face our house. There are a multitude of LED lights, colored lights, standard lights, half-lit lights. There was a time when large and small lights lived together on our shrubs but an unfortunate accident with Momma, an electric clipper and those bushes terminated that display. To this day I just can't understand what prompted me to trim the bushes in winter when the lights were in place. Oh, well too much egg nog, I guess. That little accident just made pappa more determined to use every available wattage, volt and amp that he could plug in the circuits. So if you are flying over the east coast and notice an erratic behemoth of lights which penetrate the farthest regions of outer space, land nearby and stop in, I will make you a little antipasto, while we bask in electric glow.